Soulmates exist, but not in the way most of us have been led to believe. I had a moment of realization on an ordinary day while taking a cool bath. A question slipped into my mind: “Do soulmates exist?” My instinctive answer was a confident yes. But almost immediately, I felt dissatisfied with my response—it seemed too generic, too rehearsed. Within seconds, thoughts cascaded into my mind, forcing me to reconsider what I had been conditioned to believe about soulmates. This contemplation led to a deeper understanding, one I now wish to share.
To me, soulmates are more than just romantic partners. They are souls who aid us in this lifetime in various ways. Mainstream Western culture often promotes the idea that soulmates are romantic partners destined to be with us forever, as though they are a puzzle piece uniquely cut for us alone. But if that were true, why do so many people divorce even after believing they had found “the one”? What truly defines a soulmate? What is their purpose? And can toxic partners ever be considered soulmates?
In this post, we will explore these questions and the insights I gathered from meditation from and conversations with others.
Outline of the Questions That Flooded My Mind:
- Do soulmates exist?
- What is a soulmate?
- Why do people get divorced even when they believed they married their soulmate?
- What is the purpose of a soulmate?
- Can toxic partners refer to each other as soulmates?
Challenging the Mainstream View of Soulmates
From a young age, many of us were introduced to the idea of soulmates through fairy tales, cultural traditions, movies, and books. Concepts like “Prince Charming” and “the one” were ingrained in our minds. Even today, countless TV shows reinforce the belief that each person has one perfect match who will understand them like no one else.
Religious and spiritual communities also contribute to this idea, using terms like “equally yoked” and “twin flames” to validate the belief that soulmates are destined romantic partners. But if this were an absolute truth, why do so many people who once felt they had found their romantic soulmate end up separated? Were their experiences not real? Were they just illusions? These questions haunted me, and I realized I had to let go of the old narrative to make room for a new one.
Redefining Soulmates
Yes, I believe soulmates exist—but not in the conventional sense. To me, a soulmate is any soul that aids in our personal growth and evolution. These connections can last a minute, a season, or a lifetime. Soulmates can be acquaintances, friends, family members, coworkers, pets, plants, or romantic partners. They enter our lives to teach us lessons, expand our perspectives, and sometimes challenge us in ways that push us toward self-discovery.
The English dictionary defines a soulmate as “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.” This definition leaves room for interpretation and aligns with my belief that multiple people (or beings) can fulfill the role of a soulmate at different points in our lives.
Moreover, the belief that there is only one person in the world who can understand us fully reinforces a scarcity mindset. In reality, the universe is abundant. There are many people capable of understanding, appreciating, and loving us deeply.
Why Do People Divorce If They Thought They Found Their Soulmate?
If we define soulmates as those who aid in our growth, then even relationships that end in divorce or separation have served their purpose. Growth is rarely a smooth journey—it requires discomfort and change. Many marriages fail because one or both partners resist growth. When one person evolves while the other remains stagnant, the relationship often becomes strained. At the time of marriage, both individuals may have shared similar goals and priorities, but as they grow individually, those priorities can shift.
Therefore, rather than viewing a failed marriage as proof that the couple were not soulmates, we might see it as evidence that they fulfilled the role of soulmates for each other at that time. The marriage itself was not a failure; it was a success in that it provided the lessons, experiences, and transformations necessary for their individual journeys.
This concept extends beyond romantic relationships. Friendships that end do not negate the love, joy, and lessons that came from them. Every meaningful connection holds value, regardless of its duration.
Can Toxic Partners Be Considered Soulmates?
I debated whether to include this section, but I knew the question had to be addressed.
If a soulmate is someone who fosters growth, does that mean even toxic relationships serve a purpose? The answer is complex. Growth is often uncomfortable, requiring us to step beyond our comfort zones. Someone accustomed to toxic dynamics may need to experience them in order to recognize their own worth and make healthier choices. In this sense, a toxic partner could serve as a catalyst for personal growth—but only if the individual chooses to break the cycle.
However, it is crucial to distinguish between growth and entrapment. True growth involves making choices that serve our highest good. Staying in a toxic relationship out of the hope that it will eventually lead to growth is not the same as actively choosing to heal and evolve.
As for the question, “Can an abuser be considered a soulmate to the abused?”
Perhaps, in the way that challenges shape us. Just as hardships and traumas often lead to resilience, toxic relationships can force us to set boundaries and prioritize self-love. But this does not mean one must endure harm for the sake of growth. Growth is about choosing oneself, not staying trapped in suffering.
What Do Others Think?
After reflecting on my own beliefs, I decided to gather perspectives from others. I spoke with strangers and friends, asking them one simple question: Do you believe in soulmates?
To my surprise, nearly everyone said yes. One man hesitated at first but eventually agreed.
I then asked: How do you know when you’ve found your soulmate?
Most people struggled to give a clear answer. One man admitted, “You can’t necessarily trust your heart because it can lead you astray.” I followed up: “So what should guide you, then? Your mind?”
He paused before saying, “I don’t know. I never really thought about it.” At that moment, I saw him uncovering an uncharted space within his own mind, a desert he had not yet explored.
Another woman told me, “I know soulmates exist because I see people fall in love every day. My friend was in a toxic relationship last year, but now she has a partner who genuinely cares for her. That proves soulmates exist.”
How Do You Know You’ve Met “The One”?
Many of the women I spoke to said, “You just know.” The men were less certain. One man pointed out how tricky it is to be sure. “When you’re in the moment with someone, it feels like they’re ‘the one,’ but later, after you break up, it doesn’t seem that way anymore.”
Perhaps this is because many people equate love with fleeting emotions. When emotions are high, everything feels right. But does that mean love is just an emotion? Or is it an energetic knowing—a recognition that there is potential for mutual growth?
Conclusion
Soulmates do exist, but they are not limited to romantic relationships. If we take the time to redefine what a soulmate means to us, we may begin to appreciate the many forms of deep, transformative connections in our lives. The world is abundant, and I refuse to believe that only one person is capable of truly understanding me or you. However, that does not mean everyone will comprehend us deeply—only those meant to be part of our journey will.
While some believe the heart can lead them astray, I see it as a compass guiding us toward truth. The challenge lies in distinguishing between fear-driven desires and the genuine call of the heart.
So I leave you with this: How do you create unity between your heart and mind?
What Do You Think?
I’d love to hear your perspective! Do you believe in soulmates? Have you experienced a connection that felt destined? Share your thoughts in the comments or reach out to via WhatsApp us at [079 728 0317], or email us at info@naturesjournals.com.—let’s keep the conversation going.
